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So I thought since my official Christmas days were the 21st and upcoming on the 27th/28th, that I would show off what I already got on the 21st. I mean, I have to do something before work....so with the Muppets singing Christmas Carols in the background and a cup of coffee in hand, I wandered around and took a few pics!
First of all, here's my lovely tree and lights, temporarily taking up the place in my living room where all the guitars normally go. It's a nice little tree, and really brightens the day up! Thanks to mom for talking me into getting it!
Now for the first present...My lovely friend/partner in crime Jessica got me one of this years big summer blockbusters starring two of my favourite actors, Ed Norton and Liv Tyler....
Hulk Smash!!!!! That's right, the Jade Giant himself. I always loved the Hulk...I think most guys can relate to having to keep your emotions in check...I know there are enough times I've lost it and been pretty ashamed of myself afterwards. Never threw a tank though. Alcohol may have been a factor ;) Anyways great movie, great gift! Can't wait to see what's next!
Now before we get to the next picture, in case anyone didn't know, I love Jack Daniel's. Ever since I was 16 it's been my drink...likely inspired by Guns N' Roses...but it's just awesome....
Also, I am notorious when it comes to breaking glasses and well, anything made of glass. Especially in my new apartment which is full of nice hard floors. So, that brings us to this:
A lovely bottle of Jack Daniel's and a bonus metal shot glass! I had four shot glasses when I moved in here. I was down to one...now I have 2! And this one is made of sweet sweet unbreakable metal! And it can be flipped over for a half shot (or hey, fill one side, pour, then fill the other and repeat...mmmmmm). Actually the shot glass is the best present and the booze is just a bonus. Oh yes, you can see it's already been got into, but there's still some left....
Anyway thank you Brian! Appropriate as well since I also gave Brian his very first shot of JD way way back in the 1990's sometime. Cheers buddy!
Now back to Jessica again who spoiled me this year with not one but TWO presents! This is actually my favourite gift I've gotten in years because it was so completely unexpected and so perfectly mike-like. I had been talking a few weeks earlier about getting some posters as I have a lot of bare space on my wall and planned a trip to a local poster/frame shop for the new year....when I opened THIS:
Really super awesome Slash poster. Yes, the guy responsible for my love of leather jackets, Jack Daniel's and most importantly guitar playing is now a poster on my wall. And a really COOL poster too. I couldn't have picked out better, and I'm super fussy about this sort of thing too. Every day I look at this poster and smile! Thanks again Jester! You rule!
So that's my Christmas haul so far. Honestly if I didn't get anything else at all I'd be happy with this. All of these presents are just super mike-like and will always remind me of the people who care about me. Love you guys! Merry Christmas!
I really ought to be sleeping. What if Santa doesn't show?
On the other hand, I already have most of what I need anyway....so why should I worry?
So this is my first Christmas all alone...ever! I won't see a single soul today aside from random strangers and I work from about 4 in the afternoon until after 2am. Did the same today, which is why I am awake right now.
Well, I'm not really upset about it. I had "Christmas with the gang" already and I'm seeing my family on the 27th and 28th...so it's really no big deal. It's just weird, that on the actual 25th I have nothing going on.
Well....I suspect I'll sleep until noon and then watch Muppet Christmas Carol while drinking coffee and finishing off the chocolate I bought a while back. Then off to work.
Not a bad day.
Oh, I got some presents already back on the 21st. If I feel motivated, I'll take some pictures and blog some more. Time permitting. I will do this at some point but I can't promise tomorrow, how's that?
So yeah.
Christmas day
all alone.
This is probably one of those things that builds character.
Whatever, I'm going to bed.
Merry Christmas everybody! Love ya!
Hey so November is gone and December is here to stay, at least for another 29 days....I can't believe it's almost the end of the year already. This is, I think, a good thing....2008 has been way too complicated so lets just move on.
So I have this week off of work and really have nothing much to do. Today I tidied up the bedroom and hung some pictures in my apartment and visited my buddy for a bit and took out the recycling and well, just did that sort of thing. Tomorrow I think it'll get to vacuuming and mopping and maybe laundry, and THEN if I am still motivated it may be time for Christmas decorations. That might bleed into Thursday though. Then Friday is my mom's birthday so it's a family day and then Saturday I don't know and then it's back to work on Sunday. Exciting sounding vacation week, eh?
Well, I don't know...I like all the cleaning and organizing and whatnot...it's quite necessary as my place has been suffering a bit lately and it just helps to sort of put my mind in order. You know, organizing your surroundings helps to organize your thoughts or something. At least that's how I've always felt. And lately, for the last month or so, I've been quite moody and unpredictable...so perhaps it will help.
On the other hand, if anyone has any ideas on ways to spend my time this week that aren't so practical, oh and that are free, let me know....perhaps I'll get adventurous.
Anyway so happy December everybody...like the song says "there's reason to believe that maybe this year will be better than the last...."
It's random quote day here on Stryder's Dementia! Well, actually, it's totally not, as none of these quotes are even CLOSE to random, each pertaining to the same basic subject matter. Rather, I read the first quote and the other two popped into my head, sticking around long enough for me to want to share it with you, the two people who read this blog. (You would be amazed how many ideas and concepts do NOT stick around long enough for me to share them, incidentally). What exactly this says about me or my trains of thought, or what it means to my life in general, I have yet to decide. Maybe that'll be my next blog...
So quote 1:
She could only stare at him. "You don't love me, Sebastian. You don't have any idea what love really is. You can't love anyone or anything until you love your own existence, first. Love can only grow out of a respect for your own life. When you love yourself, your own existence, then you love someone who can enhance your existence, share it with you, and make it more pleasurable. When you hate yourself and believe your existence is evil, then you can only hate, you can only experience the shell of love, that longing for something good, but you have nothing to base it in but hatred. You taint the very concept of love, Sebastian, with you corrupted longing for it. You want me only to justify your hatred, to be your partner in self-loathing.
(from "The Pillars of Creation" by Terry Goodkind)
Quote 2:
...And in some vague way, I hated the fact that only extreme pain in me could ever wring from her the slightest warmth or interest. Yet she'd been my saviour. And there was no one but her. And I was as tired of being alone, perhaps, as a young person can be.
(from "The Vampire Lestat" by Anne Rice)
Quote 3:
You can't save a damsel who loves her distress.
(From "Gossip Girl" the television series)
If anyone has any input into what exactly I mean, please feel free to comment. I will give you one hint. Quote 1 is something I would like to tell another. Quote 2 is something I feel about myself, and Quote 3 is what another should be telling me. Discuss.
I'm supposed to blog at least once a week now, and today was totally going to be my day. However, instead I just read through all of Luke and Suzanne's blogs that I have missed since last Thursday or something and I'm trying to finish a partially constructed pixelized enemy for Abraham Lincoln (I can't explain...just go here)....and I've only got ten minutes until I have to leave for my second shift today and I haven't eaten the burrito that is rapidly congealing in the microwave and I still have to get dressed too, SO.... I'll try for more later this week but if I don't get to it then this still counts.
So I feel bad that I started this blog and almost never post on it. I mean, 7 posts so far this YEAR! And the year is almost over....Now take into account that the two blogs I follow are updated nearly daily and you can see how horribly I have been underachieving.
See the problem is, other people's blogs are witty and entertaining and have a point (sometimes). I have none of this. Beyond that, I don't do well with topics. Story of my life, given too many options, I tend to choose none. I need boundaries or something.
In any case, the point to all this is that I think I can at least manage to update once a week. I won't promise anything (never again if I have my way) but I'll try and do a weekly update at least. Hell, at this point once a month would be an improvement.
So what happened today? Two things that were really odd happened to me. First, during my lunch I came home and watched "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" which in itself is not odd. However, after doing this I went back to work and just started to really really relate to how a terminator must see the world. Particularly since my job is now so machine-driven. Anyway, so I was walking around sizing everyone up as if I were a terminator and started to really try to think about what it would be like. I decided that the way a terminator would look at the world is not much different from how I do on a day to day basis and thus came to the realization that I don't really think of myself as human or relate to humanity at large very well. Well, not that this is a new revelation to me but it came into my mind today and I dwelt on it. I tend to look on the random people that populate the city as somehow separate and completely different than I. I wonder why this is? Intellectually I know that they must all have their own thoughts and feelings and preoccupations and whatnot, but I just don't feel it when I look at them. I think it may be a side effect of seeing so many thousands of people a day. Perhaps since I can't relate to all of them I have subconsciously chosen not to relate to any of them. This could become problematic in the future.
Anyway, the weirdest thing happened later on. I was driving the subway train when in between Warden and Kennedy stations in the outdoors area I saw a snowy owl sitting next to the tracks. This was at about 3 in the afternoon and a snowy owl had no business even being awake, never mind sitting next to train tracks watching trains go by. As I passed I was just staring into this owl's big yellow eyes, and I swear he was looking RIGHT BACK AT ME. Not at the train or anything, but at me in the driver's seat. I don't know why he wasn't freaked out that this giant train was passing right next to him, but he seemed quite undisturbed and was just there staring at me. It was so odd. I almost thought I was just seeing things but I asked around and other drivers saw the owl too. A couple even took pictures on their camera-phones. Apparently the owl just hung out there for an hour or so this afternoon. When I returned on my next trip he was gone.
But seriously, it was so weird. I almost pulled over the train and got out to check on him. Seriously. If I didn't have the sense of obligation that I do, I certainly would have. I think I was more concerned with this owl than with any of the thousands of people I saw in the last 24 hours.
So yeah, I can relate to being an unfeeling outsider and an owl looked at me. That's my day. What conclusions can I possibly draw from this?
Time to break out "Use Your Illusion" and listen to "November Rain" ad naseum. Then it's on to "Long December" in only 30 days....
You know I have the news on in the background and Canada's big stories today are that they just got Toronto's "Official Christmas Tree" down from up north and set up in front of city hall, and also that a woman has returned a library book that is 61 years overdue. Oh and that book was actually due in Oklahoma. So it's international news.
Also we are a culture obsessed with weather and car crashes. So there's a lot about that on there. Actually the top story is a car crash up in Richmond Hill. Two people died. Happy Halloween! They are looking for a gold coloured Toyota Corolla as they believe that the driver may have been a witness. Well, there's only about 14 million of those in the G.T.A. so good luck my friends. This is why I walked last night...no driving on Halloween thanks....
We are also supposed to have average snowfall this year (as opposed to last year, when we had greater than average snowfall). I wonder how they know these things?
Oh did I mention I finished my subway training last week? That's right, now I DRIVE the train! Look out....This is not mentioned on Toronto's news, although according to my dad I was already pictured on TV driving the train on a news broadcast last week...if so they were awfully sneaky as I didn't even see a camera crew. Big brother is watching!
As you can tell I'm kind of bored today and don't really have anything to talk about...just killing time until the pool opens...yup, another blog about nothing....think I'll go make a sandwich. See ya whenever....
I'm all full and lazy today....turkey hangover represent....
Weird to have a retro Thanksgiving.....back to going up to my parents alone...unlike the last four years of my not-quite-thought-out-enough marriage and spending holidays with HER family.... well, it was much more peaceful yesterday. This is good.
Yeah, I really have nothing to write about today, but I got jealous that other people update their blogs all the time and I haven't since, like, July or something. So maybe I'll start trying to do it more often again...
Oh, stuff that's happened:
-Went back to work on light duties
-Finished light duties and am started training for subway operation
-Ate approximately 1200 boxes of Kraft Dinner
- Became briefly obsessed with various commercial media, and then quickly forgot same
well, probably more stuff happened but I forget it....see ya later...
well you lucky people, here I am, 2 months later, back in the saddle again. Yeah, that's right, Mike's been drinking and he's all alone again, so time to start pouring out my heart. Not that there's anything in there. Well, I take that back. Clearly there is something in there...and that something is....survey says: PAIN!
Bah....I'm gonna be whiny and morbid again, I can tell. I don't really even feel that way...just bored more than anything....still waiting...still going through the motions....still trying to stay upbeat in the face of adversity....and still only letting my darker feelings flow through the keyboard. God forbid I vocalize them. I'll just post them up here where I know people can comfortably ignore them.
Don't you just love the anonymity of the keyboard? I can say anything here and it's like I never said it at all because I didn't, really. I typed it. It's so easy to forget and ignore the written word....it doesn't bring people down, or ruin an evening or change much of anything. It just makes the person getting shit out feel a little better that he expressed himself somehow.
BLAH! I'm sooo moody lately. Tuesday morning I woke up in a great mood. Today I could barely manage to get myself out of bed. 2 days can change everything. Tomorrow will probably be different again.
Man, I get a lot of flack from my 2 readers about being too depressing when I write this stuff. As if it's all I go through in life. Really, I'm a pretty happy guy from day to day. I mean, I laugh and play along just like everybody else. I'm anti-suicide and try to keep to the status quo. Try to be a good boy and give them what they want....
Anyway, when I sit at the computer the darker side comes out and I guess it's pretty depressing. I probably sound like some loser emo kid as I click away. I don't know why that is. Anyway, it's just a fragment of who I am and not my entire being. I though you should know that.
Fragments:
- The other day I had a dream where I literally beat two people to death with my bare hands. It was quite liberating
- Everyone seems to think I'm crazy because of the way I am living right now but no one questions the alternatives or stops to wonder what other choice I had?
- My best friend is quitting smoking right now and I hope that he was mad last night because of the resultant chemical deficiency and not due to something I said or did
- I want to think I am funny but sometimes I wonder "what if I am not?"
- We had a conversation the other night and dying in your sleep was brought up. I don't want to. You only die once, and I think I'd like to be fully conscious.
- TV is really just flickering lights and sounds. How did it become our new religion? Opiate of the masses indeed. I guess the internet takes second place. Like Islam or Buddhism or something.
- I bet I could be labled racist or something for the previous fragment.
- Shoot I forgot to go to the dry cleaners and pick up those shorts
- Have you ever tried to decide what would be hardest to quit? Booze or Smokes or Coffee? I don't think I could really quit any right at the moment, but overall, I think coffee would be hardest. And yet it is the MOST socially acceptable. Of course, I may be wrong. I've never successfully quit any of these things.
- Youtube is the equivalent of dying your hair green or wearing a funny hat. It's basically just saying "LOOK at me!!! Pay attention to ME!!!" People who didn't get enough attention from their parents or loved ones as children are trying to make up for it now.
- Blogging is for people (like me) who feel like they got enough or even too much attention but that no one really understood what they were all about. I'd rather have one person say "yeah I get it" than 50,000 hits that just go "yaeh, so what?"
- I just got a text message and now I have to go. Good Bye and God Bless
Ok so I feel like I need to express myself tonight but as I sit here with burning chlorine eyes and a brain full of idea fragments and whiskey, I just can't seem to articulate what I wish to say. What is my brain trying to tell me? Why do I feel this uneasy need to communicate with the outside world and yet have no clear idea of what I wish to say? It's the story of my life. Too many ideas is just as bad as none at all.
One more cigarette later and maybe I can communicate.
Brain (that's my friend and the drummer of my band-that-was) left a little while ago, but not before we watched a freaky movie involving John Lennon's killer which sparked a discussion on the state of the world we live in. Turns out it's not going as well as we had hoped.
Before Brian arrived my ex-nephew and current friend Michael was here, and we discussed how people do whatever they want, whatever their gut instincts say they should do, and only come up with rationalizations and excuses to justify their actions after the fact.
Are these two conversations related? I think they may be. I am certainly guilty if that is so.
So the world is going to hell and perhaps I am responsible due to my nature. Perhaps we are all responsible due to human nature. In this case, it may have been inevitable. Having seen the problem, what do we do about it? My guess is that we do nothing. Sit back and enjoy the ride. Like the song says, "it's a mad mad world."
Is this what I needed to say? I don't think so. I think my only real problem tonight is that I want.
What do I want?
I want.....
....someone to understand me for me.
I want....
....someone to acknowledge that I am a strange, strange man, without judging this condition.
I want....
....someone to love me, not despite my oddities or behaviour, but because of them.
I want....
....someone to finally know me, to know everything I am. Know why I can dance through the living room singing a happy song one minute and be exhausted and depressed the next.
I want....
I want....
I want.....
....to never be lonely. But sometimes that's just as fucked up as you can be.
I sound selfish tonight. Maybe I am. I guess we all are sometimes. I guess I just feel alone tonight.
Someday someone will know me. Someday I'll know myself. I will believe.
There's nothing like dismantling my entire life to encourage me to re-examine my priorities. Nothing else seems to make me consider so thoughtfully just who I am and what I want to be. It's a strange and thoughtful feeling, but I think I've learned some things about myself. I became comfortable in my ever-changing body a long, long time ago. Now I feel that I'm finally becoming comfortable in my own mind. Unencumbered, I can finally realize just exactly who I am.
So have I changed due to this process? I don't think it's exactly a change. Rather, it's like stripping away layers of paint and guck and goo and finding what's been underneath all along. Perhaps it's beautiful and perhaps it's ugly. Perhaps it's a treasure and perhaps it's only trash. Whatever the case, it's mine and I will own it. I will be it. I will be who I am.
Some might consider me a butterfly in reverse....turning back into a caterpillar. That may be true, but if so, it is only to grow again...in a different way. Who says a caterpillar must turn into a butterfly? I want to be a Dragon, a Tiger, a Wolf or perhaps just a man.
I have found, though, that to fully realize myself I need other people along. To contrast, to compare, to interact and to learn with. A life fully realized yet lived alone is no life at all. Too much self-examination leads only to self-absorption. Too much consideration leads only to emptiness. So thank you, friends, for being with me and around me. I apologize if I seem distracted or confused. If I seem to be acting out of character, please forgive me. I am only learning to grow.
So now I will go and play my guitar and eat some chicken and live my life on this lazy Sunday and maybe one day I'll find the truth.
I am only who I can be. This is all I want.
Having read over my last post, dated at the beginning of the year, the first thing that pops into my head is "be careful what you wish for." However, that's not really right, as I wanted change and boy do I have it in spades. Honestly, I can't complain. The wait is almost over....
So what's new in 2008 so far?
A couple of things have changed....for one, I am no longer working the mind-numbingly boring crashgate job at TTC that had so depressed me throughout the winter months. Instead, they put me back on sick benefits to wait patiently for a subway operator training class to open up. While I am loathe to lose a little income due to my placement back on benefits, I can't say I miss working the gate. Hellish job. However, I'm not really set up to deal with too much free time either, so I wish they'd hurry up and put me into a training class. Apparently it'll happen sooner than later, and I will know more after a meeting on the 14th.
Of course this is a minor change compared to the big news. As of March 31st, I am officially no longer married. My wife has more or less moved out and we're going our separate ways, with a divorce pending before the end of the year. In some ways it is sad, but in others it is long overdue. I can admit to a sort of sweet melancholy about the situation, but I am hardly heart broken. Life moves on. I don't think that we were ever properly suited for each other and as much as I'll always care for her, most of my hindsight screams out "what were we thinking???"
I guess we were just too different. My dad said of me and my (ex) wife "When I looked at the two of you, it was like looking at the Lion and the Lamb." Apparently I am the lamb. However in this case I guess I was a little bit lion after all, since my actions finally brought about the end. Some people will probably be tempted to say "Wolf in Sheep's clothing" and that suits me too. I am whatever you say I am....
As the song says, "If it's all going to end then it might as well be my fault."
Well, of course due to this momentous change, I'll also be moving into my own apartment come June so that's another big step....new place to live, new job and single. Not a bad start for only 1/4 of 2008. It's a brave new world....now let's make the most of it.
So, here it is, January 4th, 2008. Christmas, New Year's and my Birthday are all good and over with and a new day has dawned. Time to look back and see what happened in 2007.
So, what DID happen in 2007?? In a lot of ways, to me at least, 2007 seemed like the year of the wait. I know this isn't exactly true, but because of my work situation it sure seems like it. I've been waiting since last February to find out what permanent position I'm going to be getting within the T.T.C. since I can't drive a bus any more, and so far I have heard nothing. Instead, they've given me a job that's basically to sit in one spot and collect change. Apparently I'm a panhandler in training. Eventually the powers that be will have to officially make me a collector or a subway driver or something, but so far, I've yet to hear what their plans might be. I think they're waiting it out too, hoping I'll get fed up and either return to bus driving or quit the company. So far, it's been a big stalemate, but hey, as long as I've got a steady paycheque I guess I can't complain too much.
So anyway, let's think of what happened this year of note. First off, last January I was unable to work at all and weighed about 60 poounds more than I do now since all I was doing was sitting on my couch taking drugs for months to try and heal up my back. Since then, at least I managed to get back to work in some capacity and drop all that extra weight. My back and knee still hurt constantly, but at least it's better than it was and I can move and do stuff. I couldn't even pick up a 10 pound object from the floor when 2007 began, and now I'm almost as capable as I ever was, albeit in a lot more pain. So in my eyes that is an improvement.
In April my wife and I decided to get a cat. Well, rather she decided to get a cat and I decided not to argue too much. Although he was a huge pain in the ass at first I eventually started to like having him around. We named him Ramble after the Led Zeppelin song "Ramble On" and he's usually good for a laugh.
I attended my first Transformers convention this year and met Michael Bell, voice of Prowl, Duke and various other beloved cartoon characters from the 80's. That might not mean much to most but it was a good day for me. Of course 2 things since then have diminished my love of transformers a great deal. The first was the live action movie. While it was interesting, it didn't make me more of a fan by any means.
The second has to do with another thing that happened which I'll get to in a minute
Perhaps the most life-altering thing to happen to me in 2007 was meeting a teenage girl name Jessica who jumped into my life and sort of got herself adopted into my family before we'd turned around twice. I never thought I'd be a "parent" and now all the sudden my wife and I have ourselves a teenager! Well of course she's not really adopted, but she's a part of our crew. Why we still talkin' about this? Jessica rules!
In a somewhat related incident that I won't get into here, I also lost a friend that has been in and out of my life over the last ten years. I couldn't put up with his behaviour any more, as it was increasingly erratic and troublesome. He started becoming more and more, well, evil...for lack of a better word. It was no suprise, and he's been down the road he's taking a lot of times in the past, but at least I'm finally quit of watching his destructive behaviour. I'd walked out on him several times in the past and always felt bad about it previously, even though his behaviour was unconscienceable. This time, however, he got fed up with me "interfering" with his plots and decided himself that I was no longer welcome around him. It was a huge relief for me and I've now washed my hands of him forever. It's a fairly major change, but one that was quite easy for me to accept. My only regret is that he still has several people I care about under his sway who are hurting themselves by associating with him. When we were friends I could keep an eye on them and counter some of his bad influence. Now I cannot. I just hope that they figure it out for themselves eventually and aren't too damaged by following him on his path. I know that sounds melodramatic but one only has to look at the history of his previous obsessions to see that it is not. Those who do not learn from their mistakes are doomed to repeat them, often at great cost.
Oh, incidentally, he was also my transformers buddy and thus my love of transformers is severly diminished since our falling out. I just want to distance myself from him as much as possible. I'm sure in time I'll get over it.
Also in 2007, for the second time in my 4 year marriage I was actually becoming very worried that things were going to fall apart. Cristal (my wife) and I were drifting apart like mad over last winter and spring, even into the summertime. We started having problems for two reasons. One was my moodiness, due to the whole constant pain and drug use and inability to do many of the things I was used to doing. I started regressing into myself a lot and that drove a wedge between us. The second reason was that my wife got more and more wrapped up in her career and her interests and suddenly I was not as included as I thought I should be. It made for several weeks where we hardly saw or spoke to each other, although we were usually always civil and friendly when we did speak. It was just sort of living with a stranger...a roommate or something.
Well, luckily we reconnected at least somewhat come late summer and fall and things are looking up, although we don't have the same dynamic that we used to. I guess all relationships change over time and that's something I will just have to deal with over the course of my life. In any case, I think we're good now. There's no lack of love, just lack of things in common, and that can be overcome by shared experiences...
All in all, it's been one of those years. Some good, some bad, and a lot of frustration. I'm not the sort of person who likes to sit around and wait for change when things are out of my control...I prefer to make change. In this case however, I really have to wait or give up. For now, I'll wait and be hopeful that the new year will bring change, particularly in my work life. All I can do is carry on like the wayward son that I am.
In brief - some good:
Gained a new and excellent friend
Rekindled my love of playing guitar
joined the 21st century with an iPod of my very own
lost 60 pounds
some bad:
lost a friend (but made a great trade)
did the most unfufilling job imaginable for most of the year
struggled to make ends meet far too often
had a rocky relationship for a good part of the year
And that's about all the thought I care to put into 2007. Bring on the new year. I can take it.
First of all, here's my lovely tree and lights, temporarily taking up the place in my living room where all the guitars normally go. It's a nice little tree, and really brightens the day up! Thanks to mom for talking me into getting it!
Hulk Smash!!!!! That's right, the Jade Giant himself. I always loved the Hulk...I think most guys can relate to having to keep your emotions in check...I know there are enough times I've lost it and been pretty ashamed of myself afterwards. Never threw a tank though. Alcohol may have been a factor ;) Anyways great movie, great gift! Can't wait to see what's next!
Really super awesome Slash poster. Yes, the guy responsible for my love of leather jackets, Jack Daniel's and most importantly guitar playing is now a poster on my wall. And a really COOL poster too. I couldn't have picked out better, and I'm super fussy about this sort of thing too. Every day I look at this poster and smile! Thanks again Jester! You rule!
