SO my work schedule has changed up from now until the end of July and all of the sudden the time that I usually devote to blogging every week is gone! Actually, my entire routine throughout the week, which is based on me having split shifts with 3 or more hours off in the middle, has to be readjusted.
I like the new schedule, but I HATE this. I am too much a creature of routine. Trying to change that routine makes me feel groundless, like a leaf in the breeze. Of course I'll get used to it. Probably just in time for my schedule to change again. I mention this because I have to find new times throughout the week to do things like this blog so if you're used to it coming out on wednesday or whatever, hold on. I will get it out every week though.
Anyway, on to our subject matter. First off, you may remember my mentioning the Wayne Foundation in THIS post. Hopefully everyone listened to the interview between Kevin Smith and foundation founder Jamie Walton. You may even have followed the foundation on Facebook or befriended Jamie on Twitter. The reason I bring this up is that the long-awaited part 2 of the aforementioned interview is finally available for download at Smodcast.com, HERE. Please listen. Although it's a sad story it has a happy ending! Promise! Oh speaking of Wayne Foundation, they're also offering T-Shirts now, from their new official site, the-waynefoundation.org. Please check them out. Help if you can, if not financially then at least by spreading awareness. Some problems MUST be fought in this world. This is one.
So now we've got through the serious portion of the blog, and speaking of Batman, check out this trailer for Arkham Asylum 2: Arkham City!
I'm very excited. The first Arkham Asylum was my first and favourite Xbox360 game, and I'm expecting big things from the sequel. Apparently you can even play as Catwoman!
So tonight's the big night...game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals! I'm pretty excited. This is the first year ever that I've paid any attention whatsoever to hockey and it's been a good year. Of course I cheered for the Maple Leafs, and also rooted for the New Jersey Devils, and neither of them turned out enough to even make the play-offs, but both had a good showing in the last half of the season and it was very entertaining watching to see if they could pull it off. I'm looking forward to next year.
As for tonight, well of course as a Canadian I'm rooting for the Canucks. Luongo provides lots of drama. When he's on his game he's a superstar, other times not so much. I do like Boston too. Tim Thomas is stellar. Whoever wins I've had a fun ride.
So yeah, after 34 years as a Canadian citizen, 26 or so spent IN Canada, I've finally been converted. Go Canucks!!!
Anyway since I don't have that much to say about hockey, and to prove that I'm still the sissy-boy you all know and love, here's a bit of prose I wrote the other day...it seems depressing but it's not.
I am a wasting disease. Strip away the parts of me that I no longer want or need. Losing so much of myself, that which is no longer essential. Inundate myself to loss that I might become immune, to that which came before and that which will come soon.
I transform into a leaner, harder self. Generosity is a slow, seeping wound and I am drained of all my fluids. I would not have you reciprocate.
I am respawned as a dry being, paper and leather, wire and bone, dust and glass. Everything that once was is now reshaped into something modern and incomprehensible. My new skin is fire. I leave a smudge of ash on your fragile cheek.
I am remade I am hallucination I am a wasting disease.
So currently my number one gripe in life is that I'm going through it alone. Haven't had a girlfriend since last September and haven't really gone out on any dates or even been more than passingly interested in doing so. I just haven't met anyone who's interested me enough to pursue, and it's frequently gotten me down.
As long-time readers will know, I've always considered myself a "relationship guy". Since I started dating at 16, I really haven't spent more than 3 years of that time single, and never more than a few months in a row. I think I may have spent 8 or 9 months in a row once before. So I've been in a relationship for at least 15 years out of the last 18. Suddenly I'm not in one and have no prospects for same and it's thrown me for a loop. Until last week that is.
Last week, while I was on vacation, I realized a few things. First off, I realized that I was having a great time on vacation and that there was no way I could have had the week I had with a girlfriend tagging along. I doubt the Cleveland trip would have happened and I certainly couldn't buy myself a new TV without undertaking a lot of exhausting conversations about whether or not I could afford it or if I wanted it or whatever. Then I started to think about it further and realized that every day I have everything exactly the way I want it. I watch what I want on TV. If I want to go out I go and if I want to stay in I stay. If I feel like shaving off my beard I don't have to ask permission. Same thing if I want to grow it back. No one bugs me if I get up in the middle of the night and make noise or accuses me of being anti-social if I wander off half-way through a movie and start playing guitar instead. I can play hockey on Xbox whenever I want. Hell, if I wanted to I could go play hockey in REAL LIFE (not that I would...it's a recipe for disaster). Anyway my point is I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, without having to discuss it in committee. It's actually a pretty good trade off for a few measly feelings of loneliness. It's something I've never experienced in life. There's always been some woman there questioning all my activities and trying to control my free time.
There's a quote from the movie Fight Club that goes "We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need." I think that sums up my feelings. In the past I've always felt like I needed some girl to tell me if I'm doing things right, to validate my lifestyle or boost my self-esteem or something. Now I realize that not only do I not need that, but that I'm pretty damn happy without it. I'm not saying I'm suddenly going to become anti-relationship and if I meet someone that really interests me then I'm sure I'll reconsider, but with this new-found perspective I don't consider myself a "relationship guy" any more. I'm done worrying about it and spending my time and money trying to attract someone just because I think I'm supposed to. It's ridiculous. I think I'll be a free man instead. This solitary life ain't so bad.
