Halfway Through February

halfway through February
and i think about what I'll say
when next I see your face
your pretty smile
your snide looks and sarcastic comments
(if I ever see your face again)

is it wrong that I'm happier to be here alone?
is it strange that I don't want to know?
or are those just the things I tell myself when I want to forget?
("try to tell myself the things I try to tell myself to make myself forget...")

I used to feel that everything in my world would fall into place if I could just make it revolve around you
I used to think that the words "Love, Always" meant something
why must I be reminded every February, when life is always at it's lowest ebb?
I already know I made a mistake.
I did what I thought I had to do.
I was wrong and I am sorry.

halfway through February and sorry means even less than "Love, Always"

this is a letter to someone who will never read it
this is a message to myself
this is the last leaf in the breeze from an Autumn best forgotten
this is a cold world
it's halfway through February.

what did I expect?