So I'm driving the train around today wearing two coats and gloves and long underwear and my silly fuzzy hat and for some reason I just started fantasizing about the beach and summertime and how I can't wait for it to be warm enough to go down there again. If you didn't know, I used to go there pretty much every week all summer long until it just got a wee bit too chilly....ANYWAY, so I'm thinking this and suddenly parts of a song just start playing in my head...I can't remember all the words cause I was driving the train and couldn't write it all down but I thought I'd share while I can still remember some. Oh, it'd be sung in a psuedo-country kinda way...all major chords...think "Hot Dog" by Zeppelin or I dunno...half the songs Great Big Sea ever sang...
City Beach
I saw this girl on the beach down in the city I asked her name cause she looked so very pretty she smiled at me but said I had a lot to learn she said "my name, sir, is none of your concern!"
She didn't want me to know her name and lord it's just a crying shame but I still love my beach girl in the city cause she just looks so very pretty
I love the way she walks I love the way she talks I love it when she smiles at me and I just can't wait to see so i keep trying with my beach girl in the city she just keeps looking so very fucking pretty i've started seeing her everywhere I turn but still her name, she says, is none of my concern!
Anyway, this could keep going on and on and I think I might have to pick up the guitar and mess around with it a bit but for now this'll help me remember. So when's beach weather coming anyway? I guess it's another 6 or 8 weeks at least....
So at the best of times I'm not exactly what you'd call "prompt" with my facial hair grooming. I only shave the shaveable areas about once a week and trim the rest maybe every other week if you're lucky. I know I look better when it's all neat and properly trimmed but I just can't be bothered. Plus it leaves the bathroom all covered with little hairs and then I have to clean it up and all in all it's just a lot of work. Anyway, back in October I got really lazy about it and my beard got longer than usual. It made me start to wonder just how long it would get? SOOOO after trimming sometime in November I decided that was it. No more beard care until the end of the year. Curiosity and laziness are a dangerous combination, and it's not like I have to look pretty for an office job or anything anyway....
So this is the result: It's hard to tell here but the sideburns in particular were driving me crazy...they stick straight out about an inch from the side of my head...oh and I do admit to cheating a little as I shaved my cheeks and also trimmed just the soul patch, cause it was just too crazy to live....
I was a little disappointed in that the hair started curling around on itself instead of growing straight down, so I didn't gain much in length but I had a lot of fullness. A bird could have comfortably nested, I'm sure...
Anyway, so the morning of New Year's Eve, I'd had enough:
Ta Da! Much better, and actually a little shorter than I like. Notice how you can't even SEE the sideburns now. Oh and it turns out I DO have a neck after all...
Oh and this is only a small portion of the hair that I had on my face. Picture about 3 times this much and that's what I actually had to clean up.
I am 32. Just had a nice little birthday party and had most of my loved ones come over and give me, if not a gift, at least a hug. Which I prefer really. Although both are nice.
I was going to do the clichéd list of stuff I liked/disliked about 2008.
I was going to finish my Christmas gifts post and do a birthday one as well.
I love all the other gifts I got and thanks everyone. I'm not doing that blog though.
The Slash poster is still my favourite. It's not shocking. But everyone was great and everything I got was amazing. Love you all and thanks so much.
So....
yeah, it is....or was....my birthday today....the 2nd. 32 years old and it's 4:30 in the morning and I'm completely insomniac tonight and lonely and...
....i don't know.
whining again I guess.
and I know that insomniac is a noun and not an adjective. I don't care, but I am aware of it. Just so you know.
I am so close now to being just where I want to be. I don't know why I am just depressed as hell tonight.
Ugh. People are going to read this and worry about me. That's sweet, but also troublesome. I guess I could just write all this in my notebook instead. No one ever has to read it. For some reason I want it to be public though, even if I don't want to deal with the consequences, such as they are....
I guess I'm just angry about getting older and losing opportunities and not knowing how I'll end up. I know I'll end up okay, got a good job and I'll have all that I need and I have good friends and family but I'm scared that in the most important ways I am failing.
A friend of mine used to get down about his life sometimes and say "I shoulda been changing diapers by now." I guess I know just what he means.
Not that I need to have kids right away or anything....just I'd like to see a little progress or something. Instead it just feels like it's one step forward, two steps back...
I'm trying to be really honest here
I'm still holding back
but I am getting there.
And I am sure I'm just being morbid right now. It's 4:56 am now and well, you know how that goes. Always darkest before the dawn.
I don't know if I have said what I wanted to. I never do.
Love you guys though. Sorry for...well....everything....
goodnight. Or good morning.
"Seems like the daylight is coming and no one is watching but me...."
