Is it time to go to the beach yet?

So I'm driving the train around today wearing two coats and gloves and long underwear and my silly fuzzy hat and for some reason I just started fantasizing about the beach and summertime and how I can't wait for it to be warm enough to go down there again. If you didn't know, I used to go there pretty much every week all summer long until it just got a wee bit too chilly....ANYWAY, so I'm thinking this and suddenly parts of a song just start playing in my head...I can't remember all the words cause I was driving the train and couldn't write it all down but I thought I'd share while I can still remember some. Oh, it'd be sung in a psuedo-country kinda way...all major chords...think "Hot Dog" by Zeppelin or I dunno...half the songs Great Big Sea ever sang...

City Beach

I saw this girl on the beach down in the city
I asked her name cause she looked so very pretty
she smiled at me but said I had a lot to learn
she said "my name, sir, is none of your concern!"

She didn't want me to know her name
and lord it's just a crying shame
but I still love my beach girl in the city
cause she just looks so very pretty

I love the way she walks
I love the way she talks
I love it when she smiles at me
and I just can't wait to see
so i keep trying with my beach girl in the city
she just keeps looking so very fucking pretty
i've started seeing her everywhere I turn
but still her name, she says, is none of my concern!

Anyway, this could keep going on and on and I think I might have to pick up the guitar and mess around with it a bit but for now this'll help me remember. So when's beach weather coming anyway? I guess it's another 6 or 8 weeks at least....

The Great December Beard-Off

So at the best of times I'm not exactly what you'd call "prompt" with my facial hair grooming. I only shave the shaveable areas about once a week and trim the rest maybe every other week if you're lucky. I know I look better when it's all neat and properly trimmed but I just can't be bothered. Plus it leaves the bathroom all covered with little hairs and then I have to clean it up and all in all it's just a lot of work. Anyway, back in October I got really lazy about it and my beard got longer than usual. It made me start to wonder just how long it would get? SOOOO after trimming sometime in November I decided that was it. No more beard care until the end of the year. Curiosity and laziness are a dangerous combination, and it's not like I have to look pretty for an office job or anything anyway....

So this is the result:
It's hard to tell here but the sideburns in particular were driving me crazy...they stick straight out about an inch from the side of my head...oh and I do admit to cheating a little as I shaved my cheeks and also trimmed just the soul patch, cause it was just too crazy to live....

I was a little disappointed in that the hair started curling around on itself instead of growing straight down, so I didn't gain much in length but I had a lot of fullness. A bird could have comfortably nested, I'm sure...

Anyway, so the morning of New Year's Eve, I'd had enough:


Ta Da! Much better, and actually a little shorter than I like. Notice how you can't even SEE the sideburns now. Oh and it turns out I DO have a neck after all...

Oh and this is only a small portion of the hair that I had on my face. Picture about 3 times this much and that's what I actually had to clean up.



Oh the insanity.....

Ugh!

Can I be any whinier? This is what happens when you stay up all night thinking. Blech.

Oh well, I suppose we're all allowed to mope a little on our birthdays.

But seriously, I had fun yesterday and thanks to everyone who came out and it was cool.

Welcome to 2009! One year left.....

January 3rd, 4:30 am - The day after

Well....

I am 32. Just had a nice little birthday party and had most of my loved ones come over and give me, if not a gift, at least a hug. Which I prefer really. Although both are nice.

I was going to do the clichéd list of stuff I liked/disliked about 2008.

I was going to finish my Christmas gifts post and do a birthday one as well.

I love all the other gifts I got and thanks everyone. I'm not doing that blog though.

The Slash poster is still my favourite. It's not shocking. But everyone was great and everything I got was amazing. Love you all and thanks so much.

So....

yeah, it is....or was....my birthday today....the 2nd. 32 years old and it's 4:30 in the morning and I'm completely insomniac tonight and lonely and...


....i don't know.

whining again I guess.

and I know that insomniac is a noun and not an adjective. I don't care, but I am aware of it. Just so you know.

I am so close now to being just where I want to be. I don't know why I am just depressed as hell tonight.

Ugh. People are going to read this and worry about me. That's sweet, but also troublesome. I guess I could just write all this in my notebook instead. No one ever has to read it. For some reason I want it to be public though, even if I don't want to deal with the consequences, such as they are....

I guess I'm just angry about getting older and losing opportunities and not knowing how I'll end up. I know I'll end up okay, got a good job and I'll have all that I need and I have good friends and family but I'm scared that in the most important ways I am failing.

A friend of mine used to get down about his life sometimes and say "I shoulda been changing diapers by now." I guess I know just what he means.

Not that I need to have kids right away or anything....just I'd like to see a little progress or something. Instead it just feels like it's one step forward, two steps back...

I'm trying to be really honest here

I'm still holding back

but I am getting there.

And I am sure I'm just being morbid right now. It's 4:56 am now and well, you know how that goes. Always darkest before the dawn.

I don't know if I have said what I wanted to. I never do.

Love you guys though. Sorry for...well....everything....

goodnight. Or good morning.

"Seems like the daylight is coming and no one is watching but me...."